The Awkward Guide

In every situation in life, there's always a way to make a tit of yourself

10 Things That, As A Child, It Never Occurs To You You’ll Have To Deal With As An Adult

In the halcyon days of woollen dungarees, booster seats, and being blissfully unaware of how chicken nuggets are made, there are a few things that it never occurs to you … Continue reading

14/02/2015 · Leave a comment

Six months at Pirie Close, London

Leaving university is a strange thing. It’s also quite a difficult thing. A decidedly un-difficult thing in the context of war and persecution and actual suffering. But difficult, undoubtedly, in … Continue reading

15/07/2014 · Leave a comment

Why The Great British Bake Off Is So Bloody Brilliant

Once again into the TV melee of dark and graphic detective shows, “gritty” dramas, and lame BBC 3 excuses to make as many knob jokes as they can in a … Continue reading

04/09/2013 · 4 Comments

Freaks? I Think You’ll Find We’re Extraordinary

Have you ever noticed that one of the most hurtful insults anyone could throw at you in school is actually a synonym of one of the highest compliments anyone can pay … Continue reading

22/02/2013 · 1 Comment

Why I’ve Realised That My Mum Is A Genius

Now, I know everyone thinks their mum is amazing. At least they should, she essentially semi-mutilated her own body to bring you into the world – you owe her big … Continue reading

18/09/2012 · 1 Comment

Why It’s Good To Be Bad At Something

This may not be a new thing, this may always have been the case, but I can only talk about what I know, and it seems to me that at … Continue reading

05/05/2012 · 4 Comments

11 Songs With Strangely Inappropriate Associations

If you’ve lived in Britain and you’ve owned a TV then the chances are that there are some songs you won’t be able to hear without thinking about something that … Continue reading

08/12/2011 · 2 Comments

Deja View – I’m sure I’ve seen this one before

Have you ever been happily watching a film when suddenly you were struck with the overwhelming feeling that you’d seen it before? That’s probably because you had. It may have … Continue reading

29/09/2011 · 2 Comments

Brine Pools, Bums, and Bacon Butties

When the sun rose on Sunday morning it brought with it a gentle breeze, perfect temperature conditions, and the sense of impending doom that often precedes an attempt to do … Continue reading

11/09/2011 · 1 Comment

Cabin Crew Doors To Manual

Well folks, it’s been a while. My prolonged absence from regaling you with tales of my own social ineptitude has two explanations. Firstly I was home from the city and … Continue reading

21/08/2011 · Leave a comment

Tour de Mottram – The Triumph of Optimism Over Ability

I don’t think I’ve actually mentioned this before but if I have then I apologise profusely for repeating myself. Some of you know, but others may not, that I will be … Continue reading

20/07/2011 · 1 Comment

The Shocking Systematic Abuse of Adverbs

Because, clearly, I’m running out of interesting things to say, this time I’m going to talk about grammar. Now, for the few remaining people who have not rapidly closed this … Continue reading

11/07/2011 · Leave a comment

The Ordnance Survey Route To Divorce

Maps the world over proclaim themselves to be helpful little tools offering us assistance in those tricky matters in life, like finding the nearest Public House, determining whether a nearby … Continue reading

08/07/2011 · Leave a comment

Slightly Allergic to Summer

In a world filled with minor afflictions, from head colds to strange purple rashes, those that seem to crop up around summertime have surely got to be the most troublesome. … Continue reading

14/06/2011 · 1 Comment

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