The Awkward Guide

In every situation in life, there's always a way to make a tit of yourself

The Awkward Guide To Fancy Dress

Halloween is fast approaching, and at this time of year it’s not just dead men’s souls, and Dad’s best spooky laugh that get dragged out from the murky places where they really should have stayed hidden. It’s also the dressing-up box.

No rage-infected zombie, sinister clown, or small Victorian child-ghost is quite as daunting as the prospect of coming up with a good costume. One that will allow you to mingle at the annual Halloween party without secretly wishing that the room really was full of the living dead, because then you’d have a legitimate excuse to run away.

Fancy dress presents a tricky dilemma, particularly if you are a girl. Anyone who has watched ‘Mean Girls’ knows that Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. And that’s the issue, when it comes to Halloween there are really only two choices:

1.  Do you ignore the whole “this costume is supposed to be scary” principle, because let’s face it, for any other party occasion most of us would not spend an inordinate amount of time trying to make ourselves look as unattractive as possible.

2. Or do you think sod it, go all out, and dress up as a swamp beast?

Personally I’ve always tended to follow the ‘go all out’ school of thought. On our very last day of school the fancy dress theme was Heroes and Villains (sounds like fun until you realise that most female superheroes wear some variant on the tight-fitting leather situation). On that occasion I, and two trusty compadres, went as the Ghostbusters. So we spent the day wandering amongst our multicoloured tights-clad peers wearing overalls and backpacks with bits from a broken vacuum cleaner attached to them.

See, I wouldn’t lie to you

When it comes to choosing one of the two options, you really have to fend for yourselves. As you can probably guess from the fact that I’m writing something called The Awkward Guide, doing things my way is not necessarily the most socially acceptable path to tread.  It won’t necessarily coax round the cogs of social interaction. It might even leave you sitting in the corner feeling like a bit of a tit.

But what I’ve tended to find is that in these sorts of situations, the more ridiculous you look, the more fun you have. Provided of course, that someone else there looks equally ridiculous.

So I think the moral of this particular story is that it doesn’t really matter which option you go for, chances are you’re going to feel stupid. The important thing, and the way to avoid awkwardness, is to make sure you drag someone else into looking stupid with you.


The Awkward Guide accepts no responsibility for adverse reactions to the implementation of advice supplied herein. Side-effects can include: smug laughter, mild disdain, and temporary irritation.


One comment on “The Awkward Guide To Fancy Dress

  1. Cheshire Mouse

    Two words come to mind:
    1. Pantomime
    2. Horse


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This entry was posted on 26/10/2011 by in Seasonal and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

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